She bled with smile 🔴

It was midnight and windy cold month of January. She just stood under the oak tree near her village holding her 9 months baby  girl in her right hand protecting her from windy cold breeze with the blanket around. On the outskirts of the city near the slum a women stood there with her baby. But the question is was she only holding the child or something else also. She was holding the catastrophic pain inside her which I think no one of us could ever feel or I must say never wanted too.

What was her fault that she was in such unwelcome condition. Her only question from herself and from this society was why her husband and her family did this. Why they threw her on the outskirts in such condition. She was bleeding badly. Her menstrual flow just cracked and each and every drop of blood asked only one question why not feel dignified, why I can’t bleed with pride. Her only mistake was that she was a female and just asked for a sanitary pad and her family thought its just wastage of money.

Yet in such throbbing condition she smiled to assure her kid that she’s fine. She made her child sleep and wrapped the blanket around her and holding the girl in her arrms she stood down with the support of the bark of the tree near the curly roots. She was shivering like hell but she was confined, not broken. She only thought in that pain about the chain of notions of the society which was resisting her thoughts and breaking her from inside. But she didn’t knew that after bleeding heavily for 7 days she stood their with smile as she was strong enough to challenge God’s redemption plan.

She looked towards her girl and smiled and said” My child one day you will also fight for dignity, there’s a lot to conquer out there but don’t worry your mom is productive every day and she will not let this society set the limits for you.” The pain was pricking her body and the roots of the trees around her also quivered and felt the blood and pain but the roots, the trees , the stardust nothing was making her feel so shy but the only thing which was breaking her was the trembling pain which she can’t describe also.

Suddenly the windy night was accompanied with thunderclaps and it started raining heavily. With each drop of rain falling on her blood the pain grew and only made her discover that she was fierce and full of fire because her smile burned brighter than her pain. Pushing her limits and holding herself back her mind gave no fucks. Maybe this was not the version she was expecting but instead of understanding her pain, mood swings and depression one bounded her in her own insecurities and shattered her confidence.

Bounded by pain and thoughts she just closed her eyes and slept in the cold rainy night under the oak tree. Tears came out from her eyes yet the smile was their on her face. The unsterilized rag which was wrapped around to protect her bleeding during periods also challenged her intimacy. It was not the blood of life and pain that she was shedding, rather it was the change that challenged the orthodox feeling and radical notion that one has to fight for her dignity during menstruation.

When she opened her eyes it was all clear she was sitting under the same tree with her girl but it seemed like the place was something different. It was white everywhere with a shining bright light facing her and making her feel safe by looking in her eyes. A sound came in her ears that my child you have come a long way along but now just feel the eternal peace, you can bleed here with dignity and pride. She again smiled but this time it was the pursuit of joy that she hugged her girl and said “Your mom secured the pain my girl, now you can bleed without feeling shy in future.”

In morning every one gathered around the women under the oak tree. The roots were all red and there was blood all around. The girl was still there in her arms. Both of them died and there was just murmuring of the people all around. Her heart stopped beating, her eyes were closed but it looked like the screams were yelling the pain she felt. The smile was still on her face but deep inside that smile just carried the hidden pain and the deep thoughts which she carried around. It looked like her smile only demanded a support that maybe someone would have just hugged and told her you are not in this alone.

Its time for a change. She’s already too strong and we are breaking her up. Support her, make her belive that you are there for her. After all she’s the one who always smiles and hides her trembling pain because of our orthodox notions and taboo customs.